*post written (GASP - by hand) at 4:35pm

Ian is 14 months old today. I can hardly believe it.

Sometimes it's so beautiful here that I wonder how I can possibly unhappy, as if somehow the physical attractiveness of a place should make up for a lousy healthcare system and a school system that I don't understand, and no right to privacy.

Right now I'm sitting on the playground equipment behind the YMCA while Milllie has her swimming lesson. Ian and Leah are happily running, climbing and sliding. We are truly in the middle of a forest here. Trees that are already turning dozens of different colours are surrounding us. It's the perfect fall temperature with just the slightest breeze. Driving here today I looked at all of the For Sale signs, the same way I always do, thinking about whether or not the houses would suit us. It's silly, because we know we want to leave here. Even if by some chance we end up staying in the US, we're too far from the city. I'm not a living in the country kinda gal. I don't like driving 20 minutes to the nearest grocery store - or anywhere else for that matter. Not with young kids. But it's beautiful to look at, and to think about.

Are we being too hasty about this country? Are we not giving it a chance? Maybe we had our minds made up before we even got here. On the other hand does it matter? If we love "our home and native land": our friends, our church, our family-at-large, is that some kind of character flaw? A lot of people are making us feel that way.

Some days I don't even know.