How sad is it that this is the best news I've had in a while? Heee... I'm such a geek :)

Oh, and I swear I'm going to start updating a lot more... I have a lot to say, but not tonight...

The other night Millie told Hal that she doesn't like America and wants to go back to Canada. Daddy told her that we're trying to go back, but "first we have to have your birthday party" (she's turning 7 soon - I can hardly believe it - but that's another post). She told him that she wanted to have her birthday party in Canada because "no one here listens" to her. I know she has friends here, but it's not like it used to be.

My heart is breaking for my little girl.

We have to get out of here. We just got an electric bill that covered two months: apparently the bill for November that I was so happy about was an "estimate" and was off by $600. And the bill for December was the same. We now owe the electric company $1600 even after I paid them $500 last month. Stupid FUCKING baseboard heaters. I nearly had a panic attack when I saw that. There are still probably 3-4 months where we're going to need to use them at least a little bit, so does that mean another 4 $900 bills??? You have to be kidding me! I got one of the pellet stoves going yesterday, but it doesn't seem to warm things up nearly as much as we were told it would. Right now my fingers are FREEZING, and it's not even that cold out.

I hate it here too, Millie. :(

Things are better. After I wrote that last entry, we talked. We both agree that no matter how stressed out we are here, we have to stop and think more before we open our big mouths :)

We just watched "Music and Lyrics" - the movie with Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore - and both really enjoyed it. If you haven't seen it, make sure to check it out. Who knew Hugh Grant could sing? And you've gotta love the 80s music video at the beginning! As Hal said, "You could go back to the 80s and put that out, and it would be a huge hit".

I don't like admitting this, but Hal and I have been fighting a LOT lately. I know we're both stressed because we don't want to be here, but damn - I just don't know how much more I can take. We're both being so frigging nasty to each other. One minute we're fine, and laughing and joking, or having fun with the kids, and the next we're sniping at each other like we're mortal enemies. I hate this. Maybe it's been the stress of the holidays, or just having him around all the time this last couple of weeks. I'm actually looking forward to him going back to work tomorrow, so that hopefully we can all just get back into a normal routine.

I so don't want to keep going like this. I love my husband, and I know he loves me. This damn place is tearing us apart, though. What's the point of being together if in the end you're alone?

Shit.

Welcome 2008! Good riddance 2007!!!

There is nothing I hate more than a cop on a power trip.

I was going to the gym this morning, and I didn't bother to brush off the (maybe) inch of snow on the van, because it was already so mild out that snow was turning to water and dripping off EVERYTHING so I assumed it would be off the van momentarily. About five minutes down the road I passed a cop. I was going about 45 mph in a 40 zone, not that big of a deal, but still had that moment of panic until I saw that he wasn't following me.

But then I noticed that suddenly he WAS following me, and with flashing lights. ARGH.

Now, I should probably admit now that we haven't changed our licenses or registration. We had the best of intentions to do so, but there was so much fucking red tape that we gave up, especially since our plan is now to go back to Canada. It just didn't seem worth it. So the idea of a ticket or anything else is somewhat panic-inducing.

Turns out, he stopped me because of the frigging snow on the van! Went off on a rant about how some woman with a dirty windshield nearly t-boned him, then muttered something about how it was already melting off and tried to make it seem like I should be thanking him!

What drives me nuts about cops like this is that it forces me to act like the simpering female, "I'm SOOO sorry" etc in the scared little girly voice. Blech.

Wanna know what I really WANTED to say to him???

"Listen, I don't know what happened with your wife this morning. Perhaps she burnt your toast, or perhaps she bit down a bit too hard while she was giving you your morning blowjob, but back the hell off of me! I'm a fucking Canadian - I know how to deal with snow on a vehicle, and this is NOTHING!!! So go back to your damned redneck cop car and go bug someone who gives a rat's ass!"

Sigh. Now that feels better :)

Oh, and my other rant for the day? I went to have a prescription filled today. We're changing insurance because it's been costing us an arm and a leg for practically nothing in terms of service. But my understanding was that the new insurance takes effect tomorrow. But the pharmacist told me that apparently it must have taken effect today, because my card was expired. Grr... now I have to wait for Wednesday to get my damn drugs! And BELIEVE ME - you want me to have my drugs! (Not as much as Hal does, but...) ARGH!

And just to add this one last rant: why on earth, when they leave a notice saying that you missed a parcel delivery, would they not put an ADDRESS for the post office where you're supposed to pick it up????

Merry Christmas to all!

I should be catching a quick nap right now, but oh well...

Back in Ontario again - nice to be home. We're staying at my ILs house while they're in BC at BIL's place. Ahhh... an entire house to ourselves amidst all the chaos. Of course, MIL didn't exactly child-proof before we got here, and left bowls full of suckers sitting on the coffee table. Sigh. Three kids under the age of 7 eating suckers at 11pm after sitting in the van for nearly 11 hours. Blech! This morning Ian broke a glass bowl. Last night Hal knocked over a poinsettia and got dirt all over the place (OK, so TECHNICALLY that's nothing to do with child-proofing, but it definitely has to do with HAL-proofing!)

Kids got spoiled rotten - what else is new? And in about 45 minutes we'll be getting ready to go to my aunt's, where they will get further spoiled. At least I don't have to cook a turkey! I made my first ever apple pie this afternoon - let's hope that it worked! I've made pies before (I had a major craving for strawberry pie when I was pregnant with Leah - to the point that in labour I asked Hal to make sure my pie went into the freezer once he was home again!) but not apple. We'll see what happens, I guess :)

Hoping that perhaps I'll start writing more in the new year. Anyone believe me???

Christmas is really bumming me out this year. The materialism of it all is just plain getting to me. Spending so much time trying to find presents for people that I can actually afford (and even THAT is a stretch) and that they'll like (and I still don't know if they will or not) and appreciate (and maybe I'm just grouchy, but I seriously doubt if they will) just seems so... pointless. I'm feeling like I would rather just forego presents entirely and do everything through the World Vision gift catalogue instead. Honestly - I've spent so much time over the past few months getting RID of stuff, or planning on how to get rid of it, that it just seems so pointless to bring in MORE stuff.

I'm feeling like less is more these days. Like my kids are growing up too priviledged, despite our constant $ woes. When you have so many toys that you forget you even have some of them... I think that's just too much. We don't NEED 50,000 dvds and videos. We don't NEED three (working) televisions.

Need is being able to provide enough nutrition for you children that they don't starve, or have their hair falling out... need is making sure that you have heat in the winter... need is making sure that you aren't naked (unless that's something you're into, of course ;) )

I'm just so frustrated by all of it. I'd be happy to have a day at home, with my kids, with my husband, listening to Christmas carols and eating a decent meal.

And I am NOT a Scrooge!!!